America vs. MURICA

There is America. Then there’s MURICA.

They’re both technically the same, you know, country and all. But MURICA is, just, more MURICAN, that’s all. Unadulterated, tea-in-Boston-Harbor, scuffing-the-baseball…MURICAN. 🇺🇸

For example, America is a Bald Eagle.

MURICA is a Bald Eagle with a mullet, aviators and a red, white and blue bandanna. (Which would make it not bald. Don’t give a shit).

America is hot dogs.

MURICA is hot dogs for breakfast.

America is the game-winning home run.

MURICA is a grand slam when you’re already up by ten runs at the top of the 9th.

America is a cold Budweiser.

MURICA is a cold keg of Budweiser surrounded by chicks in bikinis.

America is the Star-Spangled Banner.

MURICA is Jimi Hendrix’s version of the Star-Spangled Banner.

America is Apple Pie.

MURICA is deep-fried twinkies wrapped in bacon and stuffed in apple pie.

America is Chuck Norris.

MURICA is Chuck Norris’s beard.

America is Washington crossing the Delaware.

MURICA is Sherman’s March to the sea.

America is “Would you like to go to a movie sometime?”

MURICA is “You up?”

America is Doctor Doolittle.

MURICA is the Eddie Murphy version of Doctor Doolittle.

Red, White and Blue. The colors that never run.

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