My Wife and Guns

It’s simple math, really.

Gun>no gun.

Rambo+gun=Four movies of badass shit.

But wife+gun>Rambo+gun.

That’s saying a lot, because I dig the Rambo series.

My wife is an Atheist, I’m a Catholic. She’s pro-choice, I’m not (and I’m NOT going to get into that right now). She thinks Trump is the Devil (well maybe not that, because she’s an Atheist, but you get the idea), I think Trump is just obnoxious.

But we do agree on a few things: one of those things being guns.

Back before I knew how she felt about firearms (or me), we were watching Star Wars Episode I in her apartment one night (turns out there was another thing we agree on: Episode I was NOT George Lucas’s finest hour).

Suddenly she looked up.

“Did you hear that?” She asked.

“Hear what?” I said. (translation: no)

She leapt up, ran over to her dresser and pulled the top drawer open.

And what do you suppose she grabbed out of the drawer?

A GUN!

Then she ran to the front door and put her eye to the peep hole.

My reaction:

A woman who likes guns and watches the Star Wars prequels just to make fun of them? Sign me the fuck up!

She looked over at me like I was an idiot.

“What’s with you?” She asked.

“You have a fucking gun?! That is AWESOOOOOOOOME!” I replied.

We got married the following year 😊

Unfortunately she doesn’t share my enthusiasm for Rambo movies, but I’ll live.