Bacon-Flavored Sausage

I saw this at the grocery store today:

I’m confused. Breakfast sausage…made with bacon? 🤷‍♂️🤯

Don’t get me wrong, I love both of these things, but have I been eating something that I THOUGHT was sausage or bacon that was actually something else this whole time?

What if I was actually eating processed “food” laced with chemicals designed to make me more subservient?

That would explain why my wife never has to ask me to empty the dishwasher or take out the trash. 😦

Maybe it’s all a feminist conspiracy to control the men in this country, but somehow it hasn’t caught up to Smithfield Breakfast Sausage yet. Oscar Meyer, Gwaltney, and all the other brands have been crushed under the feminazi jackboot.

They’ve already tried to rein men in with tofu, but we saw right through that shit. Now, they’re going for our real meat! We can’t let that happen!

Stand with Smithfield! Stand up for the rights of man! Do not let Michelle Wolf and the rest of her Estrogen Gestapo win!

And for God’s sake, someone get Alex Jones on the line! ☎️