Silent Sam or: What did you call that Landmark?

Last night a crowd of protesters in Chapel Hill finally brought down the infamous Silent Sam monument.

Silent Sam, in case you hadn’t heard (and if you don’t live in NC then you may not have. Silent, indeed) was a statue of a Confederate soldier on the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill campus that had stood since 1913.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the UNC football players were involved, because Silent Sam might be the one opponent they could actually bring down.

And just like that, the Civil War was finally over.

Despite Sam’s fall, I don’t think the folks at UNC have gone far enough. You toppled a 105-year-old Confederate statue? Meh, amateurs.

As long as they’re going to bring down a memento to a not-so-proud time of history, maybe the folks at UNC can convince the Athletic department to vacate any wins/championships/awards achieved by any of its teams/athletes in the days before blacks were allowed to participate.

Let’s not limit this to UNC or sports, either. I’m all in favor of renaming any one of the gazillion things in West Virginia named in honor of Robert Byrd, for example. Hell, at this point I’m surprised they haven’t renamed the state Byrdginia.

You remember Byrd, the former KKK member who spent 14 hours filibustering in the US Senate to defeat the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

What about any of the landmarks, buildings and streets named after FDR? I mean, have we forgotten about those pesky Japanese internment camps? Maybe that wasn’t so bad, I mean, we let them play baseball in the camps, right?

I hereby call for the formation of the Federal Department of Renaming Stuff (DRS) that focuses on the renaming of landmarks, streets, and buildings, as well as the destruction of any inappropriate monument.

Henry Ford Hospital? Let’s make that Chris Webber Hospital. Ford was a Nazi sympathizer, while Webber was a BOSS basketball player.

Bill Clinton Boulevard? Nah, let’s make that…Paula Jones Boulevard, shall we? Well okay, how about Monica Lew…you know what never mind.

What about Trump Tower?

Uhhhhhhhhhh…😳

Any suggestions?