I tot I taw a Future Pawent!

When I was growing up, I didn’t think of myself as parent material.

Nothing against my parents, but having kids just wasn’t something I was fired up about. Hell, I wasn’t even thinking about marriage for most of my life.

Then I went to college and got REALLY turned off of the parenthood idea.

I like to poke fun at many of my fellow classmates from my alma mater, Franciscan University of Steubenville, as you’ve seen in some of my previous posts.

But sooooooooooo many of them wanted to get married and start shooting out kids the same way Antoine Walker used to shoot three-pointers (a LOT).

It almost seemed like a competition. Oh, your parents had seven kids? Well, I see your seven and raise you EIGHT. Suck on that, peasant!

As a guy with a whopping TWO siblings, it was, shall we say, a little daunting.

“How come your parents didn’t have more kids?” My ex-girlfriend actually asked me this!

What’s the nicest answer here? How about: NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS?

Okay, what she actually asked me was, “How come your parenth didn’ haf more kidth?”

Yes, I dated Sylvester. For a whole month.

Sylvester now has five kids and hasn’t even hit 30. Yes, I Facebook-stalk from time to time.

Her husband (a former friend of mine) has to be making out like Tweety these days.

“I got up in dat puddy! I did, I did!”

Some people are worried about the human race eventually dying out.

As long as Franciscan University stands, we won’t have that problem 😊

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