When I was eight, my parents and I flew to Bangkok to adopt my younger brother Nathan (the first of my two adopted siblings. We adopted my second brother Simon when I was twelve).
Sure, knowing that you’re flying halfway around the world to meet your brother is pretty cool, but you know what else is cool?
Watching movies. On an airplane. In theory, at least.
In the days before DVD, Netflix, iPhones, and Amazon Prime, a TV screen embedded in the back of an airplane seat was THE FUTURE in my eyes.
I was eight, and it was the 90s, how could I NOT be shackled in awe?
We were beginning the 13-hour flight from Minneapolis to Tokyo (the second leg of our journey) when the cabin lights suddenly went down. The screen in front of me lit up.
“Oh wow!” I exclaimed, “a movie is coming on!”
What movie do you suppose it was?
City Slickers.
Don’t get me wrong, City Slickers is a fun movie when you’re an ADULT. When you’re eight, about 95% of it goes over your head.
Seriously, what is “sex” to a kid?
But then it got worse.
After City Slickers, they started playing When Harry Met Sally.
Seriously?! What eight-year-old kid needs to be watching THAT?
I saw Carrie Fisher’s name pop up in the opening credits.
“Oh cool,” I thought, “Princess Leia is in this movie. Maybe it’ll be cool.”
It wasn’t.
I don’t care what the critics say, When Harry Met Sally gets ZERO stars when you’re a damn kid. None of it made sense to me.
“Why is this blonde lady moaning really loudly in the middle of a restaurant?” I thought to myself. “It sounds like something I once heard coming from my parents’ bedroom back home…”
I had to settle for the Goosebumps books that I brought along. 13 hours of Monster Blood? Talk about frightening!
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