If I’m out and about and I see you walking a dog, chances are that I’ll smile and wave.
Not at you. At your dog.
I honestly think dogs are better than humans. In my experience, the majority of them are nice, friendly and ADOWABOWL.
Why do I love dogs? Here’s what a dog won’t do:
1. A dog won’t cheat on you with your best friend.
2. A dog won’t unplug your Nintendo 64 controller in the middle of the final lap on Toad’s Turnpike in MarioKart (Although a dog MIGHT accidentally turn off your Xbox. It’s happened to me before, but I THINK it was an accident.)
3. A dog won’t tell you that your shorts are the ugliest shorts he/she’s ever seen.
4. A dog won’t scratch his/her ass while cooking your lunch.
5. A dog won’t gaslight you.
6. A dog won’t ignore your texts (they might ignore you when you call for them, though).
7. A dog won’t take out a life insurance policy on you and then poison your Halloween candy.
8. A dog won’t force you to watch The Big Bang Theory.
9. A dog won’t call the cops on you for having a cookout in the park.
10. A dog won’t give you Herpes after hooking up with a flight attendant.
What WILL dogs do?
1. Be your best friend
2. Be ADOWABOWL!!! 🐶