I just heard that Florence has become a Category 4 hurricane, and it’s still barreling toward the Carolinas.
Oh boy, there goes the bread aisle.
However, there is definitely a surplus of bagels available (they don’t get enough love when there’s a storm coming).
A hurricane name starting with the letter “F” does not bode well for us. Fran in 1996 and Floyd in 1999 caused considerable damage in North Carolina.
Oh, naming hurricanes. There’s a fun subject.
I remember when Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee said that we needed to be more inclusive when naming hurricanes. Something about hurricane names being too white, if I remember correctly.
The only thing is if we name a hurricane after a black person, you know damn well that some stuck-up white lady will call the cops when she hears it’s heading her way. 😒
“Officer, I heard on the TV that, uh, Tyrone is heading our way, and I’ve never met this, uh, Tyrone, but he doesn’t sound like the friendly sort, and uh, I don’t want my property value to go down.” 🤦♂️
ANYWAY, at first it was tempting to make fun of all the people who aren’t originally from here trying to Sylvester their way through a hurricane, but then I remembered a few things:
1. My wife isn’t originally from here.
2. We live in an apartment on the ground floor.
3. We don’t have a boat.
4. If anyone NOT from here sees me floating down Main Street, I’d prefer that they fish me out, rather than turn their backs on me because I made fun of them for freaking out over a hurricane.
5. All of us natives will freak out over the first half-inch of snowfall this winter, and that’s far less dangerous than a Category 5 hurricane.
So yeah, I’m taking Florence seriously.
I mean for God’s sake, this damn storm might muck up the NC State-West Virginia game coming up!
Anyone in its path, stay safe!
