They did it! The Cleveland Browns finally did it! I can’t believe it! OH MY GOD!
As Tupac Shakur once said, “Break out the champagne glasses and mothafuckin’ condoms!”
Wait, did the Browns win the Super Bowl?
Did the Browns win a playoff game?
Did the Browns win a game that qualifies them for the playoffs?
See previous answer (No).
Did the Browns win a game?
YES! LET THE BUD LIGHT FLOW! 🍺
Wait…I’m not even a Browns fan 😒
Still, I’m happy for them. The Dawg Pound hasn’t tasted the sweet nectar of victory since December 24, 2016.
To put it in perspective, I was single the last time they won a game.
Interestingly enough, December 24, 2016 was the day I proposed to my girlfriend (now wife. She said yes 😊).
Anyway, congratulations to Cleveland for holding the current prestigious record of 1-1-1. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an NFL team start its season like that.
But, as a Raiders fan, I can tell you that 1-1-1>0-2.
It also amazes me that Browns Head Coach Hue Jackson wouldn’t commit to rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield as the starter after the game.
Last night’s stats:
Tyrod Taylor: 4-14, 19 yards.
Baker Mayfield: 17-23, 201 yards.
I mean, it’s not rocket science, is it?
Then again, I’m not a football coach.
Fantasy football doesn’t count. 😔
The Browns still have 13 games to play this season, and I’m not betting on them winning even half of those.
However, a win is a win.
Time to turn those Browns, err, frowns, upside down.