They did it! The Cleveland Browns finally did it! I can’t believe it! OH MY GOD!
As Tupac Shakur once said, “Break out the champagne glasses and mothafuckin’ condoms!”
Wait, did the Browns win the Super Bowl?
No.
Did the Browns win a playoff game?
No.
Did the Browns win a game that qualifies them for the playoffs?
See previous answer (No).
Did the Browns win a game?
YES! LET THE BUD LIGHT FLOW! 🍺
Wait…I’m not even a Browns fan 😒
Still, I’m happy for them. The Dawg Pound hasn’t tasted the sweet nectar of victory since December 24, 2016.
To put it in perspective, I was single the last time they won a game.
Interestingly enough, December 24, 2016 was the day I proposed to my girlfriend (now wife. She said yes 😊).
Anyway, congratulations to Cleveland for holding the current prestigious record of 1-1-1. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an NFL team start its season like that.
But, as a Raiders fan, I can tell you that 1-1-1>0-2.
It also amazes me that Browns Head Coach Hue Jackson wouldn’t commit to rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield as the starter after the game.
Last night’s stats:
Tyrod Taylor: 4-14, 19 yards.
Baker Mayfield: 17-23, 201 yards.
I mean, it’s not rocket science, is it?
Then again, I’m not a football coach.
Fantasy football doesn’t count. 😔
The Browns still have 13 games to play this season, and I’m not betting on them winning even half of those.
However, a win is a win.
Time to turn those Browns, err, frowns, upside down.
yonkaholic 