In honor of NC State football’s listless effort against Clemson today, I decided to come up with ways to explain what it’s like being a Wolfpack fan. Budweiser may have played a part in this post.
Being a State fan is like:
1. Re-living the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg…as a Confederate.
2. Biting into a raw onion dipped in chocolate.
3. Watching Iron Man 2 and realizing it has Scarlett Johansson in it.
4. Tuning in to the classic rock station and hearing “More than a Feeling” for the 875th time.
5. Drinking a can of Bud Light only to find out that the can is full of cat urine.
6. Waking up on a quiet Sunday morning only to find your living room carpet covered in your dog’s explosive diarrhea.
7. Dunking a basketball on a seven-foot hoop.
8. Taking a sip of unsweet iced tea thinking it’s sweet tea.
9. Standing in line for 30 minutes to vote only to find out your Congressman is David Price and there’s no way in hell he’s not getting re-elected.
10. Being colorblind yet only being able to see that shade of yellow Dwight Schrute wears in The Office.
I will always be an NC State fan, but Goddammit they don’t like to make it easy. At all. Ever.