Chick Flick, Right Ahead!

Chick flicks. I’m not a fan.

They’re corny, they’re predictable, and they’re oftentimes poorly written.

There is one exception, though.

Ti-damn-tanic.

Greatest chick flick eveeeeeeeer!

I have a running suggestion for my wife: whenever Titanic is on TV, and it’s not Monday night (I have a meeting early Tuesday mornings), then she has my permission to wake me up if I’m asleep.

Last night, we were watching the Cleveland Cavaliers get hustled by the Atlanta Hawks, but we decided to switch to Titanic, because at least it’s a more entertaining tragedy. And because I almost fell asleep during the game.

It’s crazy, too, because we all know what happens to the “unsinkable ship” (it’s not like Yoda shows up and uses the Force to push the iceberg out of the way), but we still hope beyond reason that Jack and Rose find a way to survive unscathed.

Ok, maybe that’s just me.

“This time, Rose is gonna make room on that door for Jack, I just know it,” I’ll say to myself, only to end with, “Dammit Rose, you’ve got plenty of room for Jack! You’re dropping the ball, Rose! Step your game up!”

I’m always disappointed in the end.

If I was Bill Paxton in that movie, I would’ve grabbed old-lady Rose and been like “Rose, sonofabitch Jesuschrist you fucked up!”

Then again, I would have also put more lifeboats on the Titanic. I would have also put rocket launchers on the bow of the Titanic to blast the daylights out of that pesky iceberg.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

I remember back when Titanic hit the theaters, and dudes (myself included, even though I was only 9) were all like “Man, that Leo DiCaprio guy is a pretty boy! What a douche!”

In all honesty, I was jealous because my parents wouldn’t let me see the movie because it was PG-13 (how James Cameron could put a topless Kate Winslet onscreen and still escape with a PG-13 rating, I’ll never know).

Fast-forward 20 years, and now dudes are like “DiCaprio is the shit! What a badass!”

Myself included.

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