Jesus and KISS

One of my favorite things about being a practicing Catholic (in addition to receiving Communion and listening to recitations from the Good Book on a weekly basis) is being able to wear a KISS shirt to Mass without anyone giving me a hard time.

I’m not one of those religious folks who feels obligated to dress up every time I go to Mass. In my opinion, it’s a bit much.

I mean, if you dress up for church, that’s cool. But you know what’s cooler?

A friggin KISS shirt.

I’ve actually gotten more compliments on my KISS shirt at church than anywhere else. A complete surprise to me considering KISS is known for such songs as “Christine Sixteen” and “Love Gun.”

Never thought I’d see the day.

I didn’t have the guts to try that while I was at Franciscan University, sadly enough.

I probably would have gotten a few judgmental glares and more than one “I’ll pray for you” from some veil-wearing, Keds-kicking lass who was homeschooled all the way through twelfth grade.

Which is cool if you’re into that. After all, who hasn’t gotten sexually-aroused when someone says “I’ll pray for you”? 🤷‍♂️

But now, I’m a grown-ass man, and if I want to wear a KISS shirt to Mass then you’d better believe I’m going to.

Oh, and just so everyone knows, KISS does not stand for “Knights in Satan’s Service.” Anyone who actually believes that might have been beaten with a ruler by a nun to the point of delirium.

K-eep

I-t

S-imple

S-tupid

I’ll bet that if Jesus were to come back, he would go to a KISS concert. I mean, if He had decided to come back in, oh, 1977.

If some old fogey tried to give him that “Knights in Satan’s Service” junk, He’d be like “Get thee behind me, real Satan. I’m just here to rock out.”

“I change water to wine all niiiiiiiiiiiight/walk on water every day!”

What if He joined the band? You’d have the Star Child, the Demon, the Spaceman, the Catman, and the SonofGodman.

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