Mrs. Yonkaholic here, AKA “Boo-thang” as you may know me. One of the very first things my husband and I connected on besides beer, basketball, and a mutual loathing of pretentious Chapel Hill douchebags, is Star Wars. It’s undeniably one of the greatest movie franchises of all time. We agree on that, but we don’t necessarily agree on the ranking of the movies from best to worst; so here’s mine. FYI, this list will include only the canon episodes, not Rogue One or Solo (which I haven’t seen and am not really interested in seeing).
- Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. This is my favorite because of the victorious ending, the adorable Ewoks, and Luke’s development into a pretty badass Jedi. The Ewoks always reminded me of a life-size version of the Pekingese dog my mom had when I was a kid. They should have set more scenes in Endor so we get to see the Ewoks again.
- Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. It’s a close second because of the badass duel between Luke and Vader as well as the shenanigans in Cloud City with Lando. But no Ewoks, and it ends with Han frozen in carbonite, so not terribly uplifting.
- Episode 7: The Force Awakens. I love this one for so many reasons. Rey is a total badass and I love strong female characters. I love her so much I’ve cosplayed two of her outfits. I love what they did with the rebellion and Poe, love seeing Han and Leia again, and especially love Fin finding his conscience and leaving the First Order. It does suck that Han had to die though.
- Episode 8: The Last Jedi. Again, can’t get enough of badass Rey (and snarky reclusive Luke). In this one, I also like the creepy twist in Kylo Ren’s character as Snoke’s influence makes him try to sway Rey into joining forces with him. It’s still weird seeing Adam Driver in Star Wars though because I’ve seen him banging Lena Dunham on Girls.
- Episode 4: A New Hope. Every story has to start somewhere, and this was a good place to start. It would be higher on the list if Episodes 7 and 8 hadn’t been made.
- Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Of the terrible prequels, this one is the best because Natalie Portman is hot as fuck, despite Anakin being creepy as fuck. “You’re in my very soul, tormenting me.” Chill out Anakin, you thirsty motherfucker!
- Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. This movie is so terrible it makes lifelong virgins (by choice) decide to spontaneously have sex just to get away from such a bad movie. Enough said.
- Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. Besides the terrible things we knew were coming like Anakin turning to the dark side and Padme dying, the writing in this movie was awful. The script and terrible acting by Hayden Christensen make me say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
So there you go. Looking forward to Episode 9! And RIP Carrie Fisher.