Thai-Jinks or: ESPN is NOT Thai

Writer’s block can be such a bitch.

The abusive, demeaning, gaslighting kind of bitch.

You know, an ex-girlfriend kind of bitch 😝.

Sure, I could’ve written about Valentine’s Day, but that would’ve been too easy (I didn’t forget about it. I got Boo-Thang some candy, a card, and a bag of flour, because I’m a decent husband and have a corny sense of humor).

So instead I’ll touch on a familiar subject: Thailand.

As I’ve mentioned before, both of my younger brothers were adopted from Thailand at separate times, so I was lucky enough to travel to the land formerly known as Siam to meet them.

The first trip was in 1997, and I was an impressionable eight-year-old.

My eyes were opened to a whole new world that had evaded me since birth.

The world of Coca-Cola in your hotel room fridge, the world of 90-degrees in January (Fahrenheit, because 90 degrees Celsius would mean some nasty-ass sunburn).

The world…of ESPN.

Growing up, I never had that luxury known as cable. Not because my parents couldn’t afford it, but because they thought most of the channels were garbage (and, in retrospect, they weren’t wrong).

Of course, all of my friends had cable, because they’re parents were cool, but all we watched was Nickelodeon (back when they showed TONS of Looney Tunes reruns).

Anyway, on the second night we spent in Bangkok, my Pops and I were still suffering from jet lag, so we switched on the TV.

And what popped up on the screen?

E-S-P-N.

They were broadcasting one of those Senior Bowl college football games, which blew my mind because…it was college football…in Thailand.

And the commentators were speaking English!

I was like, “But, this isn’t MURICA! What sorcery is this?!”

At that time, I didn’t even know ESPN was a thing, because I had never seen it on TV back home in MURICA.

Because, you know, no cable.

So when I saw it for the first time in Bangkok, I thought it was a Thai channel.

As if that wasn’t shocking enough, later that night ESPN decided to broadcast a game of Cricket.

Now THAT was a bit…interesting.

I was like, “Baseball without mitts? Paddles instead of bats? WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!”

The sport was, and still is, wildly confusing to me. But it’s got a great name, doesn’t it?

Cricket (hehehe it makes me chuckle).

So not only did I gain a new brother on that trip, but I also learned that ESPN was a thing.

And that you can watch American channels in another country.

Knowledge is power, y’all.