Lent on the Horizon

Well gang, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which means today is:

OVERWEIGHT TUESDAY!

Okay, so technically it’s “Fat Tuesday”, but I’m trying to be more sensitive to the plight of those who are carrying a few extra pounds (me).

Yep, good ol’ Overweight Tuesday, my last chance to cut loose before the marathon of Lent.

So I’m getting rowdy in style, with a 7-dollar bottle of vodka:

Shit’s gonna Popov any second, amirite?

I’ve got a stash of Mardi Gras beads for Boo-Thang. You know, just to see if she’ll show me her boobs 😉.

Hey, it works on Jerry Springer, so don’t knock it.

I’ve gotta live it up, too, because Lent means a couple things for me:

1. No Meat Fridays

2. Giving something up

(Trust me, as a grown-ass man I know I don’t HAVE to do these things. However, I choose to, because I’m a Catholic and I want to.)

No Meat Fridays were pretty daunting when I was a teenager. Probably because I lived on chicken nuggets, or chicken fingers, or chicken tenders, etc.

As an adult, though, I can always lean on fish to get me through this trying time, because I have significantly expanded my culinary palette (except for peas and onions, because they both taste like shit).

To her credit, Boo-Thang doesn’t have a problem changing up the menu for Fridays during Lent. I’m eternally grateful for that 😊.

Giving something up, on the other hand, requires a little more thought and a LOT more effort.

One year I tried to give up homework for Lent, but that didn’t go over well with my parents.

Back in 2011 I gave up (get ready for this):

Listening to the radio in the car.

Go figure, too, that was the year I decided to take a road trip to visit my best friend, who lived in Memphis back then.

Imagine yourself taking a 12-hour car ride, alone, with no music, sports, or Rush Limbaugh (of course I do know some people who get along fine without him).

It was excruciating.

But I did it.

My knee-jerk idea was to give up Twitter, but I’m blowing up on there right now (36 followers as of today) so I don’t want to throw cold water on that flame.

I could give up using profanity, but that would be impossible.

And giving up chewing tobacco? Do you really think I want to subject Boo-Thang to that?

Withdrawal is the DEVIL, and I have no wish to go down his wretched path.

Soooooooooooo…

I’ve got a little bit of time to figure it out.

Any suggestions?