Manscaper Shaves Genitals, Learns He Still Has a Tiny Penis

A local car dealer was disappointed to learn that, despite shaving his genital area, he still has a tiny penis.

Lance Morehead, 32, of Under the Hood Cars, said he had never attempted the grooming technique before and that he hoped that it would make his penis appear more enticing.

“I’ve always been a little…insecure about my, you know…my sports car,” said Morehead, “I actually took a woman home once and she said it looked like a cli…well she was probably a lesbian anyway.”

“Some of my friends told me that shaving down there makes you look bigger, well I just had to give it a shot.”

So after his shift one day, Morehead stopped at the store and bought an electric shaver.

“I figured it would be a far cheaper method of enhancement than going out and buying an F-350.” Morehead added.

But when he looked in the mirror after the shave, Morehead was crushed.

“It didn’t get bigger,” he groaned. “As a matter of fact, it’s still the same size!”

Morehead brought up the possibility of a legal response.

“I mean, dudes deserve better,” he said, “the electric razor companies need to put a disclaimer on the package or a warning or something. Otherwise they’re giving guys false hope.”

In the meantime, Morehead said he’ll probably buy a Ford F-350.

“I didn’t want to have to throw down that kind of money, but maybe that will do the trick. Maybe my lawyer can get the razor company to take care of that.”