Hipsters Mistaken for Civil War Re-enactors, Kicked out of Starbucks

Two men were forced to leave a Chapel Hill Starbucks Wednesday after it was assumed they were Civil War re-enactors.

Turns out they were just hipsters.

Jake Breen and Chris Herman, of Carrboro, were sitting at a table drinking coffee when they were approached by Zane Dombrowski, the manager on duty.

“We were just sitting there, sipping on lattes,” Breen said, “when the manager strolls over and tells us we have to leave.”

“It didn’t make any sense,” Herman added, “we weren’t hitting on any of the baristas or anything.”

Dombrowski says he kicked the two men out because he thought they were Civil War re-enactors.

“They looked to me like they were on their way to a re-enactment. Not only that, but they looked like Confederate re-enactors.” Dombrowski said.

“Starbucks is not a safe space for bigotry,” he added. “None of my customers want to come here and see wannabe Confederates, with their suspenders, gray shirts and long, scraggly beards.”

Breen and Herman are unapologetic in regards to their appearances.

“I always look like this,” Breen said, “lots of people have beards, not just racist Confederates.”

“I don’t appreciate being profiled,” Herman said. “We’re not racist at all. Heck, we helped pull down the Silent Sam statue awhile back. How many Confederates do you know who would do that?”

Dombrowski says while he may have overreacted, he was triggered by the thought of Confederates patronizing his business.

“Sorry, but they looked like Confederates to me,” he said. “If they had been wearing blue shirts then I would have assumed they were Yanks and paid for their lattes.”

A special thanks to the International Association of Haters for the photograph.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s