Don Cherry Challenges Hurricanes Mascot to Cage Match

There’s no love lost between Carolina Hurricanes fans and renowned clothes horse Don Cherry these days.

This season Cherry referred to Hurricanes fans as a “bunch of jerks” and took it a step further after the team advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals, deriding them as “front-runners.”

But Cherry drew more criticism Monday when he challenged the Hurricanes mascot to a fight.

“Not just any fight,” Cherry told reporters. “I challenge that pig to a cage match.”

Some Hurricanes fans were confused.

“That Cherry guy is such a tool,” one fan said on Facebook. “I understand if you don’t like us, but why bring Stormy into it?”

Cherry clarified that he was referring to Hamilton the Pig, The Hurricanes’ wagon-bound, good luck mascot, and not Stormy.

“Stormy has been through enough,” Cherry said. “He got chased out of a friggin’ Denny’s, you know.”

“But I’m tired of that bunch of jerks, so I’m going to hit them where it really hurts. If Hamilton names a time and place, then I’ll have the cage built.”

One Hurricanes fan told reporters that it would be a quick fight.

“Man, Hamilton would whoop that Margaritaville-looking dope in two seconds,” the fan said, “if he wanted to.”

The Coalition Against Pig Violence representative Porky Pig was quick to condemn Cherry’s comments.

“Duh-Dee-Duh-Dee-Don Cherry is a vuh-vee-vuh-vee-vuh violent man,” Porky told reporters. “Why doesn’t he puh-pee-puh-pee-puh-pick on someone his uh-ee-uh-ee-own size?”

Hamilton the Pig could not be reached for comment, because real pigs can’t talk.

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