Auburn Fan Tries to Kidnap UNC’s Bat Dog, Claims it Was a Rescue Mission

An Auburn fan was removed from Boshamer Stadium in Chapel Hill Monday afternoon during the North Carolina-Auburn Super Regional baseball game after trying to kidnap UNC’s bat dog.

Sally Waller, from Montgomery, Alabama, was in town to support the Auburn Tigers when she noticed Remington, UNC’s Golden Retriever bat dog, wearing a Tar Heels uniform in the dugout during pre-game warmups.

“I saw that poor dog in a Heels jersey,” Waller told reporters, “and that constitutes as abuse, in my opinion.”

“I would know, too, because I used to volunteer for the ASPCA, or the WWE, or whatever the PC Police call it now.”

According to security, Waller ran down the stands with a jar of peanut butter and started calling to Remington, jumping into the dugout in the process.

“She yelled out ‘Don’t worry, pooch, I’ll save you!'” security coordinator Ron Lawson said. “She was waving a jar of Peter Pan towards that poor dog, and the players didn’t know what to do.”

Lawson went down to the dugout and escorted Waller out of the stadium.

“I asked her what in the heck she was doing at a baseball game with a jar of peanut butter in the first place,” Lawson explained.

“I like peanut butter,” Waller responded.

Waller received a lifetime ban from all future University of North Carolina athletic events.

Tar Heels Manager Mike Fox said he was grateful that he wouldn’t see Waller again.

“I’m just glad that dummy got kicked out,” Fox said. “She was all worried about Remington, while we were the ones getting abused.”

Auburn defeated North Carolina by a football score of 14-7 after a 13-0 start, and will continue its season in the College World Series in Omaha.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s