Pot Apologizes to Kettle After Multiple Allegations of Racism

After facing allegations of being racist in response to an old video being leaked online, Pot held a press conference inside Sears Wednesday to apologize and attempt to clear the air with Kettle.

Pot told reporters that one of the comments he made in the video, which showed him arguing on screen with Kettle, was taken out of context.

“All I said was ‘that’s like the pot calling the kettle black’,” Pot explained, “but there was no racial animus behind it. I’m not a racist.”

“While we’ve had our differences over the years, I look to Kettle as a friend, and I would never intentionally hurt him, because I’m not a racist.”

Pot added that even though there was no malicious intent behind his remarks, he still wanted to reach out to others and learn from the experience.

“I think it’s important to have an honest, healthy dialogue,” Pot said. “I look forward to hearing from all the other kettles out there. This non-racist is listening.”

Several protesters were picketing outside the Sears where the press conference was being held. One person held a sign that read “Kettle of Color” while another person wore a shirt that said “Not Pot.”

One protester, who asked to be called Ziggy, vowed never to use another pot when cooking.

“From now on it’s just skillets for me,” Ziggy added. “No pots ever.”

Kettle could not be reached for comment, but Marty Spoon, Kettle’s agent, said that Kettle was likely to forgive Pot.

“It’s still a little raw right now,” Spoon explained. “Kettle holds a special place in his heart for Pot, but he just needs a little time.”

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