As the Indianapolis Colts careen toward another season of uncertainty regarding its star quarterback’s health, Andrew Luck announced Wednesday that he had changed his middle name to “Aintgotno”.
Luck explained that it wasn’t the easiest decision to make, but that it was for the best.
“After much thought and consideration,” Luck said, “I have decided to change my middle name.”
“I felt that if I didn’t change it, then I would be lying to all the Colts fans out there who support me every day.”
“The fact of the matter is I simply have no luck when it comes to injuries.”
Colts Head Coach Frank Reich told reporters that he disagreed with Luck’s decision, but that he would still support his quarterback.
“The man has tons of luck,” Reich said. “He’s alive, isn’t he? He’s a millionaire, isn’t he? He’s got a lot more luck than the guy who was drafted right after him.”
“But I’ve still got his back, especially since that part of his body is healthy for the time being.”
Luck has been recently dealing with a potential high ankle sprain, according to the Colts organization, and it is unclear as to how much time he could miss.
Reich added that the team should know Luck’s status for week 1 following the third preseason game.
“If all goes well,” Reich said, “then Andrew will have no choice but to get his old middle name back.”
“I’ve seen enough bad luck in my time. Remember I used to play for the Bills.”
Colts fan Andy Dwyer explained that the name change confused him at first.
“I thought ‘Aintgotno’ was Japanese for ‘awesome’,” Dwyer said. “Turns out it’s ‘ain’t-got-no Luck’.”
“That kind of ruined my day.”