State of Georgia to Lower Flags After Disastrous Week For Sports Teams

(Photo courtesy of Edits by Sean)

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp announced Saturday evening that all flags in the state would be flown at half-mast for a week starting Monday after several area sports teams had disappointing games.

The Atlanta Falcons lost to the Houston Texans 53-32 on October 6, the Atlanta Braves were defeated in Game 5 of the National League Division Series against the St. Louis Cardinals 13-1 on October 9, the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets football team lost to Duke 41-23 on Saturday, and the 3rd-ranked Georgia Bulldogs football team lost to unranked South Carolina on Saturday 20-17.

“It’s just been an awful week for Georgia teams,” Kemp explained to reporters. “Thank God the NBA regular season hasn’t started yet, either, because the Hawks aren’t supposed to be any good, either.”

JoDon Buford, a longtime Atlanta resident and Falcons fan, said he supported Kemp’s decision.

“I ain’t seen Georgia get lit up that bad since Sherman came through,” Buford said. “I’d rather sit through a North Korean production of Gone With the Wind before going through another week like that.”

Thelma Mae, an avid Braves fan, blamed the team’s loss on the lack of foam tomahawks in the stadium.

“The Braves had that series,” Mae explained, “but then we caved to political correctness from that player for the Cardinals, because he was an Indian or something.”

“My daddy was a full-blooded Cherokee, and I love those tomahawks. It was a bad omen to take them away.”

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