UNC Fan Upset With Basketball Team’s Performance, Demands to Speak to Manager

A local UNC basketball fan was escorted away from the Dean Smith Center Monday after demanding to speak to a manager regarding the team’s disappointing start to the season.

Karen DeWine, of Chapel Hill, who bears a striking resemblance to Jenny McCarthy, told reporters that she expected more as a lifelong Tar Heels fan.

“We’ve already lost three games,” DeWine said, “and it’s not even Christmas yet.”

“I just wanted to speak with whoever is in charge about what can be done to rectify the situation. It works for me whenever I go to Applebee’s.”

Campus security guard Reginald Hardison said he received a call about a disturbance by the Smith Center, and when he arrived he saw DeWine verbally accosting people who were walking by.

“She was ranting and raving about wanting to speak to a manager,” Hardison said. “I tried to tell her Coach Williams wasn’t actually in the Smith Center at the time, but she wasn’t having it.”

“She said she was going to get me fired if I didn’t go get Roy for her, but I wasn’t having that. So I told her to leave.”

DeWine said she was going to start a petition to remove Williams from the head coaching position.

“I’ve been following this team all my life,” DeWine said. “I’ll be darned if I’m going to just stand by and watch as we throw this season down the drain.”

Williams said he was more concerned about getting the team ready for its matchup with Wofford on December 15.

“I’ve got a team to coach,” Williams said. “I don’t have time to deal with any dadgum Karens out there.”

“She wants to try to get me fired over a 6-3 start? That’s not very live, laugh, love of her.”

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