A Raleigh pig accused protesters of stealing a pallet of bricks off his property Tuesday in order to use them in riots if President Donald Trump is re-elected.
The pig, who identified himself as “Third Little”, told reporters he was planning to build an addition to his house with the newly-purchased bricks when he saw a group of people hauling it away.
“I know it’s those durned Antifa folks,” Third Little explained. “They all had black masks on and boy they sure hauled ass with my bricks when they heard me yell at them.”
Third Little said the thieves got away before he could grab his shotgun.
“It’s frustrating,” Third Little lamented. “I spent my hard-earned money on those bricks so I could improve the strength of my house in case the big bad wolf comes looking for me again.”
“Only to have a bunch of soy boy Antifas cart them off. What am I supposed to do now, use straw instead?”
Second Little, Third Little’s brother, said that he called the Raleigh Police department to file a report, but that they blew him off.
“It’s a shame,” Second Little said. “Those cops didn’t care about what happened to my brother’s bricks.”
“I’ll bet they’ll be hollering ‘blue lives’ this and ‘blue lives’ that if those bricks end up in their car windshields, though.”