Democrats Plan to Start Fetterman at DH Next Year

As the midterm elections approach, some Democrats have discussed a plan to start Senate candidate John Fetterman at DH in next year’s Congressional Baseball game.

Despite Fetterman not being a Representative (he is currently running for the Senate seat in Pennsylvania being vacated by Republican Pat Toomey), several Congressional Democrats think Fetterman would be a force at the plate.

“He’s not running in the House, but so what?”Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) asked reporters Wednesday. “We should be able to amend the rules a little bit to allow Senators to play.”

Eric Swalwell (D-CA) said that placing Fetterman at DH in the lineup would be a boost for the team’s offense.

“Think about all the softball questions Fetterman gets from the media,” Swalwell elaborated. “The Republicans won’t have the stones to pitch to him. He’ll get walked more than Barry Bonds did back in the day.”

“Bam, that’s an automatic man on base. Then if he’s still feeling iffy due to his stroke, we can send in a runner for him.”

Representative Steve Cohen (D-TN) told reporters he would volunteer to run for Fetterman.

“I’ll gladly run for him,” Cohen said.

Outgoing Representative Liz Cheney (R-WY) said that it would be a threat to America if the Republicans were to pitch aggressively against Fetterman.

“I’m just waiting for them to throw any brushback pitches at him,” Cheney said. “It could be a threat to our democracy if they were ruthless enough to do that.”

Representative Steve Scalise (R-LA) said he wouldn’t have a problem with the change, as long as it was a baseball being thrown and not more bullets.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s