A North Carolina man came out as non-binary Monday in an effort to win more arguments with his wife.
Tyler Gilmore, of Raleigh, told reporters that he was tired of always losing arguments with his wife, Samantha.
“It doesn’t matter what we argue about, I always lose,” Gilmore explained. “We always go out to eat where she wants, we always watch whatever movie she wants, you know the drill.”
“So I decided to come out as non-binary, that way I can use they/them pronouns, giving myself an extra say in any argument.”
Gilmore said that as a firm believer in Democracy, being non-binary would also rule out his wife’s opinion on anything.
“Think about it,” Gilmore said. “If you get to use they/them pronouns, don’t you also get to refer to yourselves as ‘we’?”
“So now whenever the wife wants to go to Chili’s for lunch, based on Democracy, WE get to overrule her and choose Hooters instead. She wants to watch Magic Mike after dinner? Well, WE get to out-vote her and pick The Expendables instead.”
Mrs. Gilmore told reporters that she would likely be moving out in response to her husband’s announcement.
“I don’t think he understands what it means to be non-binary, and it’s painfully tone deaf,” Mrs. Gilmore said.
“It’s also a shame that it won’t help him with his intimacy problems. They have enough problems in the bedroom as it is.”