Jacinda Ardern Resigns: The Real Reason?

New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced Thursday that she would be resigning, claiming she no longer has “enough in the tank to do it justice”.

Ardern, while popular in New Zealand, was controversial outside of the country for her handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, and for her activity with the World Economic Forum.

However, shortly after her announcement, a rumor surfaced concerning the real reason why Ardern chose to resign.

The rumor? Facial hair.

One of Ardern’s aides, who chose to remain anonymous out of fear for personal safety, told reporters that Ardern had recently been struggling with a sudden growth of facial hair just above her upper lip.

“It’s the craziest thing,” the aide said. “Up until about December, Jacinda had no facial hair. But suddenly this little mustache started growing out of nowhere.”

“A tiny little thing, like the mustache of a certain man from Germany decades ago.”

Another aide alleged that no matter how hard Ardern tried, she couldn’t get rid of the mustache.

“She went through countless razors, countless cans of shaving cream,” the second aide said, “but it always quickly grew back. We tried to find a Black+Decker attachment that might do the trick, but no luck so far.”

“Maybe it’s a side effect of the COVID booster or something.”

Ardern said she plans to resign by February 7. She could not be reached for comment regarding the mustache rumor.

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