McConnell Denies Being a Turtle, Refuses to Provide Documentation

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), denied rumors over the weekend that he was a turtle, but refused to provide the proper documentation to prove that he wasn't. McConnell said that he wasn't sure how the rumor started, but was adamant in his denial. "No, I'm not a turtle," McConnell told reporters in front of … Continue reading McConnell Denies Being a Turtle, Refuses to Provide Documentation

Biden Denies Groping Statue of Liberty

Former Vice President Joe Biden attempted to clear the air Monday in the wake of multiple allegations of misconduct. "I don't know what you've heard," Biden told reporters. "But I absolutely did not grope the Statue of Liberty." Recent accusations by Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos have brought Biden unwanted attention as he weighs a … Continue reading Biden Denies Groping Statue of Liberty

Elizabeth Warren Should’ve been a Pirate

The biggest mistake Elizabeth Warren ever made was claiming to have Native American ancestry. I'm sorry, but Native Americans have been through enough over the last several centuries without having to worry about a white politician claiming to share their genealogy. Okay, that's not really fair, because for all I know maybe Warren DOES have … Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Should’ve been a Pirate