Local Cannibal Refuses to Eat Vegans

Some people are just picky eaters, right? A local cannibal admitted to reporters Saturday that he refused to eat vegans, claiming that they don't taste like normal people. Craig Rawls, a lifelong Angier resident, explained that eating vegans was about the same as eating tofu or a plant-based burger. "I've always been a bit carnivorous," … Continue reading Local Cannibal Refuses to Eat Vegans

Man Attends Zoom Meeting Without Exposing Himself

A Raleigh man attended a Zoom meeting Monday and made it through the entire session without exposing himself to his colleagues. Paul Wood, a home-bound office worker, told reporters he was worried that the meeting wouldn't go well. "I'll tell you I was nervous," Trapp explained. "I don't have the most up-to-date computer in the … Continue reading Man Attends Zoom Meeting Without Exposing Himself

Man Fires Gun for First Time, Can’t Stop Saying “Yee Yee”

A Raleigh man changed the course of his life Thursday when he fired a gun for the first time in his life and suddenly couldn't stop saying "Yee Yee". Terry Wolf told reporters that he had invited his friend, Will Grand, to go hunting with him Thursday afternoon. "I had no idea that he had … Continue reading Man Fires Gun for First Time, Can’t Stop Saying “Yee Yee”