Man Comes out as Non-Binary to win Arguments with Wife

A North Carolina man came out as non-binary Monday in an effort to win more arguments with his wife. Tyler Gilmore, of Raleigh, told reporters that he was tired of always losing arguments with his wife, Samantha. “It doesn’t matter what we argue about, I always lose,” Gilmore explained. “We always go out to eat … Continue reading Man Comes out as Non-Binary to win Arguments with Wife

Local Cannibal Refuses to Eat Vegans

Some people are just picky eaters, right? A local cannibal admitted to reporters Saturday that he refused to eat vegans, claiming that they don't taste like normal people. Craig Rawls, a lifelong Angier resident, explained that eating vegans was about the same as eating tofu or a plant-based burger. "I've always been a bit carnivorous," … Continue reading Local Cannibal Refuses to Eat Vegans

Karen Actually Apologizes to Jogger for Sticking Her Nose Into His Business

A local Karen apologized to an African American man Tuesday afternoon after sticking her nose into his business while he was jogging in her neighborhood. Karen Wentz, of Cary, North Carolina, told reporters that she was sitting on her front porch when she noticed Robert Paul, an African American jogger, striding along the sidewalk in … Continue reading Karen Actually Apologizes to Jogger for Sticking Her Nose Into His Business