What I Learned from Home Alone

Ah, there’s nothing like Home Alone for the holidays.

I don’t know about you, but no Christmas is complete without it.

Harry and Marv (the Wet Bandits) vs. Kevin McCallister (the kid left at home while his family goes to Paris for Christmas)?

Never gets old, just as long as you only watch it once a year 😉.

My wife and I always watch Home Alone when December rolls around and, to her great credit, she tolerates me reciting most of the dialogue and begging her to rewatch the famous Tarantula-on-Marv’s-face scene at least three times.

She reacts to that the same way she reacts to John Wayne and Chuck Norris; with an eye roll.

But, like I said, she tolerates it…because we only watch it once a year 😉.

Not only is Home Alone my favorite Christmas movie of all time, but it’s also very educational.

Here’s a list of some of things I learned as a result of watching Home Alone:

1. “Ass” is not a nice word.

2. Fire crackers are not the sort of crackers you can eat.

3. It’s a Wonderful Life sounds funny dubbed in French.

4. Getting multiple bricks to the face isn’t serious enough to warrant a trip to the emergency room (okay, that was from Home Alone 2, but still).

5. “Budget” is the name of a car rental service, not a beer from Anheuser-Busch.

6. Angels with Filthy Souls is not a real movie (but it should be).

7. Not every old man who shovels snow off the sidewalk is a psychopathic killer who keeps his victims in a garbage can full of salt.

8. The department store Santa is not the REAL Santa, but he does work for him.

9. Aftershave stings.

10. Tipping the pizza guy 20 cents makes you a cheapskate (unless the pizza guy is the douche from Little Nero’s).

PS- don’t throw a brick at someone’s head. I made that mistake once because Marv made it look so funny. I was also 5 years old 🤷‍♂️.

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