That time I met Vince Vaughn

I don’t run into famous folks very often.

Sure, I shook hands with Ken Burns once, and Margaret Cho used to follow me on Twitter (during my open mic days).

But for the most part, my Rolodex isn’t bursting with star power.

There was this one time, though, where I was on my way to a customer’s home to start a new pest control service account.

I pulled up to the address listed in my phone, and it turned out to be my parents’ house.

No, my parents are not celebrities (if they were you’d better believe Boo-Thang and I wouldn’t be living in an 1,000-square-foot apartment and drinking Franzia box wine).

I walked up to the front door and knocked. Pops (Dad) answered the door, looking a bit confused.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Didn’t you call to set up pest control service?” I replied.

He didn’t seem to hear my question.

“Come on in,” Pops said, “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Starting to get a little confused myself, I shrugged and walked inside.

Who do you suppose was sitting on the living room couch?

Vince Vaughn.

My mouth fell open.

“Holy cow!” I stammered. “Pops, uh, how do you two know each other?”

Vince stood up and held out his hand.

“Your old man and I go way back man I can’t believe he never told you about how we used to hang out and knock a few back in our glory days,” Vaughn replied.

I shook his hand, still a bit stunned that my almost-65-year-old Pops used to pal around with Vince friggin’ Vaughn.

It made zero sense to me.

Still, it was Vince friggin’ Vaughn, so I was stoked.

“Dude you were awesome in Old School,” I blabbered. “That movie shaped my life!”

Vaughn gave Pops that look he often gets when he’s confused/embarrassed.

“Umm, okay?” He replied with a chuckle.

I grabbed my phone; there was no way I was going to not get evidence of Vince friggin Vaughn in my parents’ house.

“Hey, Vince, wanna take a selfie with me?” I asked eagerly.

“Uhhhhhh, no.” He replied, and my Pops burst out laughing.

I mean, it’s not every day you get denied a selfie request from Vince Vaughn, right?

Before I could express my disappointment, I woke up.

I looked around. Boo-Thang was asleep next to me, and there was no sign of Vince friggin’ Vaughn.

Of COURSE it was just a dream.


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