ECU Mascot Suffers Heart Attack Walking Up Mom’s Basement Stairs

The East Carolina University mascot was rushed to Vidant Medical Center in Greenville Wednesday after suffering a heart attack while walking up his mother’s basement steps.

PeeDee, ECU’s well-known and oft-inebriated Pirate mascot, was found lying at the bottom of his mother’s basement floor with his cell phone logged in to Twitter, where she claims he had been fat-shaming an NC State fan.

“I was headed toward the basement to see if my boy wanted another Rum and Coke when I heard a loud thump,” Mama PeeDee explained. “When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw him writhing on the floor in nothing but his undies, surrounded by empty cans of something called Old Tuffy.”

“I warned him not to argue with Wolfpack fans on the internet, regardless of how fat they might be, but he was always so headstrong.”

The doctors at Vidant explained that PeeDee was lucky to be admitted when he was.

“He’s in stable condition now,” Dr. Pete Sarvis explained, “but if he had been brought in an hour later, then I’m not sure he would’ve made it.”

“He was brought here last December. I told him to cut the salt out of his diet, but obviously he didn’t listen.”

Mama PeeDee told reporters that she hoped her son would recover in time for ECU’s opening game against NC State in Raleigh.

“He was really looking forward to making the trip,” Mama said. “He has spent the last seven months selling Highlights subscriptions to pay for the bus ticket to get there.”

The ECU-NC State game is scheduled for August 31 at noon at Carter-Finley Stadium in Raleigh.

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