Jesus Considers Pulling Support for Notre Dame Football

Following Marshall’s 26-21 football upset over 8th-ranked Notre Dame on Saturday, Jesus Christ suggested the possibility of withdrawing his support for the Fighting Irish program. Christ told reporters that despite Notre Dame being a Catholic university, he was disappointed in the team’s performance against a non-Power 5 program. “Look, I love everybody,” Christ explained, “I … Continue reading Jesus Considers Pulling Support for Notre Dame Football

Democrats Call For Investigation Into “Tragic Boating Accident” Increase

Following the passing of H.R. 1808, also known as the Assault Weapons Ban of 2022, several Democrats have called for an investigation into the perceived increase in “tragic boating accidents”. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) told reporters that she noticed an uptick in the subject on Facebook and Twitter. “Ever since we took up this important … Continue reading Democrats Call For Investigation Into “Tragic Boating Accident” Increase

Wolfpack Baseball Slut-Shamed for NCAA Tournament Snub

In response to news Monday that NC State’s baseball team was not selected to participate in the 2022 NCAA Baseball tournament, many were quick to condemn the selection committee for the perceived snub. NC State Athletic Director Boo Corrigan told reporters that he was “disappointed.” However, others have voiced their agreements with the decision, even … Continue reading Wolfpack Baseball Slut-Shamed for NCAA Tournament Snub