Fan Disappointed After Learning Cole Anthony Not Jesus Christ

A UNC fan was disappointed to learn Thursday that Cole Anthony was not Jesus Christ after running into him in Chapel Hill.

Roy Wilson, a longtime Tar Heels supporter, told reporters he recognized the freshman basketball player while waiting in line at the McDonald’s on Franklin Street.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Wilson said. “There he was, in the flesh, at Mickey D’s.”

Before approaching Anthony, however, Wilson said he decided to order two Filet O’Fish sandwiches.

“I was hungry as all get out,” Wilson explained, “and I figured that with Cole being the son of God and all, I could take my two Filet O’Fishes to him and he would turn them into a Mayflower smorgasbord.”

“I was crushed when he said he couldn’t do it.”

Sherry Walker, the employee who took Wilson’s order, said she thought Wilson was just kidding around.

“That man told me Cole Anthony was going to turn his two sandwiches into a big old meal,” Walker said. “Talking about Jesus this, and Jesus that.”

“I mean, come on. Jesus is white, isn’t he?”

Anthony, who currently averages 4.5 assists per game for the Tar Heels, affirmed that he was not Jesus.

“I am not, and never have been, Jesus Christ,” Anthony said. “If I was, then I’d already be in the NBA.”

“Jesus wouldn’t let some one-year-out-of-high-school rule stop him.”

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